I am developing a new appreciation for calm and quiet. I see how it benefits my children and family, and I relish it.
About six months ago, I began to take notice of how many “plans” I was committing the kids and I to on a daily basis. Whether it was an invitation to a play date, an organized class, or time with extended family, I tried to become realistic about how much we could do before any of us became overwhelmed or stressed.
This is a vast change from Owen’s first six months of life. Before Owen had lived through two seasons, he had completed music class, play group, swim lessons, movement class and group exercise classes with his mom. And oh yeah, I was working part time, and bringing him with me.
It was nuts.
We progressed this way for quite some time. I wanted to afford Owen every possible opportunity. Not because I am competitive, but because Owen is my baby. I want to provide him any resources that I can in order for him to find his passion.
We maintained a frenzied pace right through my second pregnancy.
But when Sydney was born, a bit of calm seemed to be delivered with her. She and I came home on Thanksgiving Day. The family focus of that specific day combined with the winter months gave me a different appreciation for being at home with my family.
We started to slow down.
I noticed the effect this conscious effort had on all of us. We were calmer. The house was quieter. It was different, and maybe this new atmosphere could have felt a little strange at first. But, it was…nice.
Really, really nice.
The more I began to read and research, the more I realized how wrong my initial understandings were. My beliefs that Owen needed to be exposed to everything in order to grow, and that staying home with just me would not allow him to socialize, were unfounded.
The more I become comfortable with me being enough for my children -a new concept for me, the calmer our lives are becoming. It feels like an improvement.
I am not suggesting that my house is a land of tranquility. A frenzied pace is very much a part of me, and it often tries to surface. Now though, it is easier to keep “the crazy” at bay. Because now I know that choices that make life too busy do not necessarily provide my children with opportunities.
But they certainly create an environment of chaos and confusion.
So I continue to work toward increasing the calm. I evaluate each activity choice and think about how it will impact our mood and dynamic for the day. Though Peace does not reign yet, we are slowing down the crazy.
And it feels really good.